At the Store

            The word “Baklava” always made me think of lobsters.  I don’t know why, but maybe it’s because I’m a lobster, myself.  We don’t really have a whole lot of imagination, but I hear things talk about stuff from outside this invisible box that I’m in.  They tied something around my claws, which is irritating at first, but everyone gets used to it.  All the other lobsters in here have them on their claws, too.  You should see some of these guys, too; they’re huge! It’s a good thing they can’t pinch me, because I have a tendency to say stupid things to other lobsters.

            The weirdest thing about living in this thing is getting used to eating without my claws, I think.  I wasn’t really sure how that was going to work, at first, but after a while, I got the hang of it.  Hunger is a great motivator; you learn that when you’re stuck in something you can’t see.  Sometimes I wonder if we should start having names, but then I remember that there’s a reason we don’t have names.  I don’t know what it is, but there’s a reason.  I would ask the other lobsters, but they might get offended.  They are just touchy like that.  It’s very hard to tell what will get you screamed at before they start screaming at you.  I wonder if the ones that get picked out of the box-thing tell that to whoever is around, wherever they go. 

            I don’t remember what I was doing before I got stuck in this thing, either.  Along with no imagination, the memory of us lobsters is a tad on the poor side, relative to guys like, say, squids, or sunfish.  Man, those sunfish are smart! You wouldn’t know it, just by looking at ‘em, but they are smart as hell, especially for looking like they were chopped in half right after they were born.  I thought they’d all be traumatized because they don’t have a tail, but they get along just fine.  Never met one that was mentally unstable, I’m proud to say.  The clownfish give the sunfish a bad rap.

            But wait, who’s picking me up, now?  I’m out of the box! This is amazing; I didn’t ever think it would happen to me! Wow!  I’m not crowded by other lobsters, but- oh, damn.  Now I’m in some sort of other invisible bullshit.  At least there’s water in here, that was nice of them to do.  What the hell is macaroni? These tall things eat macaroni? I hope that doesn’t mean I have to try it. Fuck macaroni.