“They’re
your friends, right? I mean, like, you’ve known them for a while?” I asked Ted,
trying to ignore the irritating itch on the backs of my hands. We were standing outside of an apartment
doorway, stopping for a quick smoke break before we went inside. This gave me some time to talk this out to
him, so I could know what we were doing here.
We were never really good at planning things.
“Yeah,
dude, they’re cool. We’re just going to
stay here for a few hours, and go from there.” Ted dragged his cigarette like
an old man on his oxygen. I think only I got the irony. “They invited us, remember? We’d kind of be dickheads if we didn’t show,
and I used to live with Kenny. It’s just
chill, you know?”
I finished
off my cigarette, nodded, and we headed in.
During the introductions, I noticed Ted had kept his smoke in his
hand. Apparently, it was ok to smoke in
this house, why hadn’t he just said so?
I brushed that aside in my mind as I shook people’s hands and held up my
end of the introductions. Such a good
little drone I was being. They played
the game, too, the one everyone plays.
Smile, try to figure out who you’re talking to, and then find out
whether or not you’re going to keep talking to the new shmuck or go back to the
people you know. I usually just make the
last decision for them, and excuse myself from the conversation to investigate
their furniture. People don’t mind some
dude they don’t know when that dude is sitting on a couch or chair, staring off
into space. I liked it that way, I felt
invisible.
The plan
was a bit different this time, though.
I’d added a new element to the game, and no one else knew. I liked it that way, too. Tonight was going to be a night that would
change these boys’ lives completely, and they had no idea. I wasn’t cut out to be their kind of drone,
but a different one. I sat and waited as
they drank, watched tv, and collected more friends in their disgusting little
apartment. No one bothered me, I think
Ted even forgot I was there. He never knew me that well in the first
place. Still, it couldn’t hurt to spare
him.
When
everyone was good and buzzed, I got up and fished $20 out of my wallet. I gave that to Ted, and sent him on a beer
run. He didn’t need to see this. Poor dumbass should have noticed that smoke
runs out of my hands as well as my mouth when I have a cig with him, but no.
Little shit like that never got caught, which is was allowed me to live among
them so easily. I gave everyone 62
seconds once Ted had left the building, and then gave them the additional
pleasure of introducing them to the stealthy machine guns implanted in my
forearms. The barrels extending out of my palms reminded me of those old anime
shows they told me about, “Dragon Ball Z”, or something like that. The first one screamed over the sound of my
weapons, but the others got the message when the blood splattered the
ceiling. Then the fun started.
I rooms
full of screaming, frantic young adults. It’s too much like their horror movies
to not get caught up in the moment. A
few times, I caught myself spitting out
cheesy things like “Prepare to die!” or “Yippee kai-ay, mother fuckers!”. There was one time I actually screamed at
them to take me to their leader! Thankfully, they never got to do that. They
just died, much as the kids here died.
They didn’t take long, didn’t suspect a thing, and didn’t fight
back. I left the place a bloody, shot-up
wreck, and walked to the closest Super 8 Motel.
What was one more batch of useless lives expired, when you looked at it
objectively? It meant as much as
painting a picket fence in the big scheme of things.
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