No, Jim

            “Jim,” Clara sighed, “We need to talk.”

            “We need to? I’m thinking maybe you just want to, but what’s up?”

            Clara sat down beside Jim on their torn, ratty couch and turned to look at his eyes as he tried to predict what she was going to say to him.

            “Is this about me yelling at the neighbor’s dog at odd hours of the night again? I know it isn’t the most neighborly behavior, but neither is having that fucking dog outside with its vocal cords intact.” His prediction abilities were never really what they should have been. Clara shook her head softly, and tried to keep herself from smiling and getting distracted from her point.

            “No, that’s not it. Come to think of it, though, I didn’t know that you were still doing that. You’ve gotten better at yelling without waking me up. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about your drugs. I really wish you’d stop this crack binge you’re on now. It’s hurting all of us, you know.”

            “What?! Of all the things you wanted to talk about, you want to get on to me for that? I’ve done worse, you know. No, that’s not gonna fly, Clara. I’m not quitting. There’s not even a problem, I don’t even see what you’re worried about. It’s not like the time I was fucking your cous-“

            “Let’s not bring that up anymore. It’s a lot easier to forgive that when you don’t ever speak of that again. Mike still hasn’t quite gotten over you, you know. He asks about you, wants to know what happened between you two. I don’t know what to tell him anymore.”
            “I don’t know what to tell him, either. Why is it our problem? He was up for it at the time, so was I. I’m just not anymore, mainly because you asked me that he and I quit fucking. Haven’t I sacrificed enough?”

            “Seriously? You threw out TV from the balcony three days ago because you said it called you “Dersley”, and you “wouldn’t be associated with no numb-nuts motherfuckin’ Dersley”. I missed American Idol last night because of you and your crack. You know how much I love that show!”

            “…Oh. I was kind of wondering why we weren’t watching TV right now. I found the remote a few minutes ago.”

            “That’s not going to work anymore, Jim.”

            “That’s ok. My answer’s still no.”